You have heard the first part of this phrase trotted out – and you might have read the classic book by Susan Jeffers. But – how can you really approach the message behind this well-known phrase?
Try this realistic approach – step by step bravery. Feel the fear – get a bit out of your comfort zone, gather some courage – and do that slightly scary thing. But do it in small steps. Do it though!
As I began to do things on my own, I began to taste the deliciousness of an emerging self-confidence. It wasn’t all comfortable – in fact, a lot of it was extremely uncomfortable. I felt like a child learning to walk and falling frequently. But with each step I felt a little surer of my ability to handle my life. Susan Jeffers
Step 1 – Feel the Fear and do it for the right reasons
Chose your brave challenge with an intrinsic motivation and growth mindset.
The Higher Self derives self-worth not from comparison with others, but from an internal focus that is based on valuing growth and learning. Arno Ilgner
Enough said really.
Go back to basics and ask yourself – ‘why am I setting myself this challenge’?
Double check that your reason is not based on any ‘shoulds’ or ‘gurus’ or ‘childhood baggage’.
Step 2 – Feel the Fear and do it with a sense of achievement
Value your achievement – however tiny it might seem.
When you celebrate your small wins and cradle your strong moments you magnify their impact and bolster your self-belief. Margie Warrell
We are so good at undervaluing our achievements.
It takes a conscious ‘pause’ to reflect on what we have just achieved and give ourselves a pat on the back.
It is also easy to fall into the trap of undervaluing the meaningfulness of what you have achieved.
Why?
Too many shouty voices telling us what ‘meaningful’ means.
Meaningful to you and others does not need to involve 6-figure incomes or ‘best-sellers’. A quiet smile and listening ear can be meaningful. A short, imperfect video posted – yes – this is mighty meaningful in your fear-bashing journey.
Step 3 – Feel the Fear and do it more than once!
Do it again! But do it willingly – under your own command.
As Farrah Storr says in her book ‘The Discomfort Zone’ – we all experience ‘brief moments of discomfort’ every day. ‘Don’t have that extra chocolate’, ‘Put the bins out before breakfast’.
We do these things with a high degree of reluctance – because they are imposed on us.
The doctor says I need to lose weight. The bins are collected early morning and we can’t clutter the pavement the night before!’
But in this step your mission is to take control over the small discomfort step.
In a nutshell
You will increase your confidence, self-belief and creativity by entering the ‘discomfort zone’. But do it for your own reasons and value every tiny brave step – it is your step.