Swap 3 self-doubt for 3 self-belief thoughts now
This is the start of your SELF-DOUBT to SELF-BELIEF ACTION PLAN
Try this thought exercise: - think of your mind like a big rucksack that feels too heavy - you need to open it up and see what's in there that is weighing too much. Now think about leaving some of that 'self-doubt' stuff out of the rucksack. Put it back on. Is it a lot lighter and easier to carry? Does that feel good - are are you worried that you might need those things you've left out? Think of all the room you now have for lightweight and useful SELF-BELIEF
A rucksack full of self-doubt is heavy - replace with self-belief and purpose - lighter and way more useful!
The best part of leaving that 'heavy' dragging down stuff out is that you now have more energy! The load is lighter and takes less effort to carry. Self-belief is the perfect rucksack filler!
The stuff to jettison
1. IMPOSTOR SYNDROME
One very heavy piece of luggage is Impostor Syndrome - that so weighs us down!
Some of the symptoms are:
- Putting success down to fluke and failure down to YOUR USELESSNESS!
- A real sense that other people have 'got it together' in ways that you will never feel
- (Over) perfectionism - you must not fail - ever
- No self-belief - a sense that you will be found out as a fraud any moment now
Keep reading for a good replacement!
2. UNHELPFUL SELF-TALK
In his book 'The Untethered Soul' Michael Singer refers to the endless chatter in our heads as being like having a rather annoying room-mate!
A room-mate that eats away at your self-belief - get rid!
In case you haven't noticed, you have a mental dialogue going on in your head that never stops. it just keeps going and going. Have you ever wondered why it talks in there? How does it decide what to say and when to say it? How much of what is says turns out to be true? How much of what it says is even important? And if right now you are hearing. "I don't know what you're talking about. I don't have any voice inside my head!" - that's the voice we're talking about. Michael A.Singer
The good news is - you can evict your room mate and get a better one!
Keep reading for a good replacement!
3. NEGATIVE JUDGEMENT FEAR
We fear being judged. We fear looking unprofessional. We fear sounding stupid...we fear being thought of as braggarts. Peggy Klaus
That's a lot of heavy load - all that fear!
We live in a social media age where 'comparison' danger is rampant!
No they do not have a perfect life - no they do not always look that perfect - no there family is not always brilliant at everything and constantly happy..... no you do not have to look like that to be successful.
So - what to do. You just need to work on your self-belief (I don't mean that to sound trite - it can be hard work sometimes).
To start with - you need to SPOT - STOP - SORT. Get rational with some of the unhelpful self-talk.
Actions to lighten the load
- Work on your self-lecturing skills. Detach yourself from the inner chatter and take on the teacher strict role - give that annoying room mate a good talking to!
- Feel the fear and do it anyway - yes - really! You will always have some of this 'rubbish talk' and some of the 'fear' is after all there for a 'survival' purpose - you just need to keep a sense of the fear that tells you to stop for a good reason - and the fear that is kicking in because of our ancient wiring - but can be listened to and then side-stepped!
- Do a rigorous audit of your 'sweet spot'! Seriously - check out your VALUES, INNATE SKILLS, EXPERIENCE AND KNOWLEDGE and PASSIONS - and find your PURPOSE in the sweet spot where they meet. Purpose is a powerful weapon to fight the self-doubt.
3 self-belief mantras to pack
- I don't need to be like everyone else - I am me - not perfect or imperfect - still learning.
- I have achieved loads of things - might not be headline news - but things of real value
- We are all full of self-doubt - the good thing about me is I am aware of this and trying to work through it - I am self-aware!